If you have personality disorder (PD), you probably feel like you’re on a rollercoaster—and not just with your emotions or relationships, but your sense of who you are. Your self-image, goals, and even your likes and dislikes may change frequently in ways that feel confusing and unclear. People with PD tend to be extremely sensitive. Some describe it as feeling like an exposed nerve ending. Small things can trigger intense reactions. And once upset, you have a hard time calming down. It’s easy to understand how this emotional volatility and inability to self-soothe leads to relationship turmoil and impulsive—even reckless—behavior. When you’re in the throes of overwhelming emotion, you’re unable to think straight and stay grounded. You may say hurtful things or act out in dangerous or inappropriate ways that make you feel guilty and ashamed later on. It’s a painful cycle that can feel impossible to escape. But it’s not.
In the past, many mental health professionals had trouble treating personality disorder (PD), so they came to the mistaken conclusion that there was little to be done. But we now know that PD is treatable. In fact, the long-term prognosis for PD is better than those for depression and bipolar disorder. However, it requires a specialized approach. Bottom line: most people with PD can and do get better—and they can do so fairly rapidly with the right treatments and support. Healing is a matter of breaking the dysfunctional patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving that are causing you difficulty and distress. It’s not easy to change lifelong habits. Choosing to pause, reflect, and then act in new ways will feel unnatural and uncomfortable at first. But with time you’ll form new habits that help you maintain your emotional balance and stay in control.